Session #1 (Cont.): Death Note: Episode #2

Death Note: Episode 2 "Confirmation"

Opens in the classroom and no one is paying attention. The teacher calmly keeps lecturing but what he really wants to say is, "You're talking during class!" but that may result in a heart attack (since that seems to be the kill weapon of Light's choice). Up pops Ryuk from beside Light's desk and if people could actually see the God of Death, Light would have to explain (in Charlie's words), "this is my olive chimp." After leaving class, Light mentions he's busy to a fellow classmate when asked to hang out. Ryuk doesn't understand social concepts and replies, "You have nothing to do. Aren't you just going to go home and sit in your room-"

And masturbate.

But then Light's romantic evening plans get ruined when-

Enter sister-like-figure. She can't be more than 12 and needs help with quadratic equations (which is another way to distinguish between American drawn anime characters because at 12 I think we're still on multiplication tables).

Cut to the International Criminal Police Organization (Interpol) where every country has come together in order to figure out these suspicious heart attacks but really want to blame it on the FBI and CIA (to which Charlie replies: "The Japanese government is covered in little girl panties." whatever that may mean). More arguing ensues. We also meet the police chief, Yagami Soichiro, and his ridiculous partner, Matsuda Touta. When Matsuda asks a stupid question, the Chief responds, "Right, I forgot this is your first time." when really he just wants to call him an idiot and make him get his coffee (but he might screw that up too).

Enter "L" icon on the gigantic screen. This is L the genius detective. His voice is mechanically changed and a mysterious man in Inspector Gadget cosplay is holding a laptop that has this L on the screen. Unfortunately for him, he forgets to block pop-ups and one for Penis Enlargement shows up and when closed a few more unmentionables pop up and then we're back on track.

Cut to Light in some abandoned, vine strewn place on the other side of the tracks with his chemistry set. He is hinting that fire will somehow save his family if they were to touch the Death Note and see the horribly frightening Ryuk hovering above them. A few minutes later (after L accuses Japan of housing the killer) Light explains in full boring detail how the contraption in his drawer will ignite if someone tries to pry the hidden bottom off to find the Death Note. It will burst into flames with nary a fire extinguisher to be found therefore successfully burning the evidence as well as the house and themselves. Way to go, Little Sister Sayu. You just couldn't keep your grubby little hands out of his journal drawer could you? And after he helped you with Quantum Physics!

As Light begins his nightly ritual of perusing church groups, he spies a special website. Apparently a bunch of serial killer groupies get together on the internet and the emergence of Kira happens. Light has hundreds of adoring fans/people who fear him and they have created a bunch of fan pages dedicated to his clean-up of mankind (there are also a few fanfiction stories already out there with him paired with a guy- A GUY?!?!-that just goes by a letter. Take that Cher).

Then as Light is watching his daily fill of ET and Extra, L breaks in with a message for Kira. Incensed that L wants to catch him and stop him from killing bad people, Light throws a hissy fit. He has a Robot Chicken Ted Turner Captain Planet! moment ("I AM JUSTICE!") and exclaims how he'll kill anyone who thinks his killing is wrong starting with L.

Jokes on Light because that isn't L. It's just some dude on death row. As Light almost has a complete mental break down, L now knows the vicinity in which Kira lives and how he can kill. For someone so smart, looks like Light has met his match (and not just in that slash fanfiction sort of way).

Reaction of the Room: *Darf* (the sound a dog makes when you accidently hit it in the head with a baseball)

Rules We've Learned:

1. If the cause of death is written within 40 seconds of writing the person's name, it will happen. If the cause of death is not specified, the person will simply die of a heart attack.
2. After writing the cause of death, details of the death should be written in the next 6 minutes and 40 seconds.